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Christer Alexander Jenson
krikkert
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May 2009
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Christer Alexander Jenson [userpic]
When two educated people break up…

Originally published at Obiter Dicta. You can comment here or there.

When two educated people break up, what happens? What if they have the same degree? Let’s have a look.

Psychologists

  • The girl accuses the boy of using her as a replacement for his mother, in lieu of something better. Boy accuses girl of indecent relationship to cigars.

Sociology

  • Both parties claim that the other party was suppressing them.

Archeology

  • Boy attempts to bury past, girl keeps digging it up.

Drama

  • OH MY GOD! Darling — everything we had IS IN SHAMBLES!

Biology

  • - All you wanted was access to my genes.

Physics

  • Both parties accept that what goes up must come down.

Journalists

  • “And it was in this house that Jack (19) and Jill (18) at 11 PM last night announced their respective break-ups after only two weeks.”

Women’s Studies

  • - HE did it!

Business

  • Both of them decide that they spend too much money together, and that it’s more rational to be single.

History

  • They agree that the cause of the break-up is a matter of the past.

Geography

  • Both agree that moving far, far away is the best solution.

Anatomy

  • - I’ve never actually liked your body.

Literature

  • The ending proceeds in the form of well-written letters, complete with a lead-in, a main part, and conclusions, but neither of them manage to communicate anything useful to the other party.

Teachers

  • They both agree that it was a learning experience.

Architecture

  • The fundament wasn’t any good anyways.

Philosophy

  • If two people break up in a student house, and nobody can confirm the break-up, are they then single?

Chemistry

  • There was simply no chemistry.

Music

  • Both write a long piece to express their sorrow. At least one go into country music.

Law

  • Mutual suits are filed for illegal neglect of a contractual agreement regarding dates.

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Comments

I take issue with the journalists one. We would never say 11 p.m. at night. Not the good ones, anyway. ;)